22nd June 2013

“I’m not sentimental–I’m as romantic as you are. The idea, you know,
is that the sentimental person thinks things will last–the romantic
person has a desperate confidence that they won’t.”

F Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paraside

Recently I have been doing a lot of packing. Packing and sorting and organising and unpacking and re-shuffling. When I was sorting through my room at university, I came across a few bits and pieces that I’d kept from years ago, from the most random people. They certainly put a smile on my face, but re-discovering them made me realise how sentimental I actually am. I’m not sure whether its entirely a good thing. I think I just like to hold on to good and positive memories; I think I’m a bit scared I’ll forget.

Advertisements

7th June 2013

“Promise me you’ll never forget me because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.” 

A. A Milne, Winnie the Pooh, The House at Pooh Corner

Recently I have had to and will have to say many goodbyes/ farewells to a lot of people who are very important to me. I won’t be forgetting any of them anytime soon; feeling really rather sad.

4th May 2013

“Be wise in the use of time. The question in life is not “how much time do we have?” The question is “what shall we do with it?””

Anna Robertson Brown

Recently, it has struck me how little time I have left in my second year at university and although my Year Abroad is finally starting to feel exciting and real, I am also really sad at the thought of having to say goodbye to so many people who I have got to know and make bonds with. The biggest fear for me is never seeing them again, or not remaining as close – they’ll have all left by the time I return – so the only thing for it, for me, is to make the most of what remains. As I seem to tell myself often on this blog (and in real life), you only truly regret the things you didn’t do.

26th February 2013 – A WHOLE YEAR!

“To laugh often and love much;

 to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;

to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self;

to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;

to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

So, here we are. It has been a whole year since I decided to start this blog. 205 posts, 840 tags and 80 followers later, I’ve recorded many of my thoughts and experiences of the past year. It started off being something I wanted to do for myself, to express my thoughts and feelings, but the fact that people took to the blog so well and gave me such positive feedback made it feel like something really worth doing and writing about. My  sentences and choice of word may not have been the most sophisticated, but I wrote as I thought and went along with it. I think I find some solace by relating to the words of other people, knowing that what I’m trying to figure out myself has been discussed before. For me, this blog was a bit like a diary, but it recorded some of the more intangible, emotional parts of my year too.

This quote was one that was given to me by a teacher after my GCSEs in year 11, so nearly 5 years ago. It was on my bedroom wall at home, in uni halls and in my second year home too. I really liked understanding somebody else’s criteria for success and these ones seem accessible to everyone, regardless of circumstance and situation. For me, over the past year, I would say that I managed to do or experience most, if not all, of these things and they bring up happy, positive things for me, as well as reminding me how I have grown and changed. The most basic things life can offer: song, laughter, playing – are the ones that essentially have meaning when it comes down to it past the trouble, strife and difficulty of everyday life. If I take what Mr Emerson says to be true, then I have had a successful year.

Although ‘My Year in Quotes’ is technically up, I don’t think I will stop posting just yet. If and when I come across something interesting or when I feel the need to express myself, I will write about it here. Looking over this makes me wonder if things are different after 12 little months. Have I changed? Perhaps. I would say I am more self aware and perceptive, and I know that I am braver when it comes to facing scary or difficult things. I am more able to see and remind myself of what is truly important but in other ways I am more confused about the world (a feeling I don’t think will lessen the more the years pass.)

One thing this blog has highlighted for me is just how quickly time disappears; its a little frightening, really. Maybe one day in the future, I’ll look back and think ‘wasn’t I a whinge bag’ or ‘gosh, I was innocent and naive’ or maybe I’ll just cringe at some of the things I have said (most probable) but most importantly, I hope to look on it and think of happy memories and many, many smiles.*

*this is something I can cringe about in the future.

30th Octber 2012 – Mum’s birthday and some memories

“Anyway,
once we had this chocolate cake for tea
and later I went to bed
but while I was in bed
I found myself waking up
licking my lips
and smiling.
I woke up proper.
‘The chocolate cake.’
It was the first thing
I thought of.”

Michael Rosen

This is a strange thing to quote for a birthday, but I remember my mother’s birthday 14 years ago – mainly because she spent it in hospital having given birth to my sister the day before. We took her a yummy chocolate cake and celebrated with her there. This poem is one we have read and enjoyed a few times too; thinking about it always puts a smile on my face. So gutted I’m not there to celebrate with Mum and my sister, but I’ll see them in a few days!

4th August 2012

“Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean, 
Tears from the depths of some devine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes, 
In looking on the happy autumn fields, 
And thinking of the days that are no more.” 

Alfred Tennyson

I spent yesterday looking through a few of our old, printed photos with my family and took a lovely, long trip down memory lane. It was weirdly sad to see how we have all grown up and move past our easy childhoods. Those photos reminded me of life that was a lot more simple. And although it is sad that the innocence of childhood has gone, there are more memories to be made. As L.M Montgomery wrote,

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” 

 

21st June 2012

“There is no greater sorrow, than to recall a happy time, when miserable.” 

Dante Alighieri

Had a strangely nostalgic few days, and although I am happy with where I am and what I’m doing at the moment, there is a lot that I miss. Not necessarily specific things or people, just the way things were, how protected and sheltered I was, how my relationships were with the people I know. Change is something that is definite, however, and hopefully the power of hindsight will make change more acceptable.